The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
