Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
