so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
