I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
