I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
