My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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