All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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