I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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