So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
