yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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