why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
