he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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