But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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