She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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