I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
