his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
