I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
