She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
