I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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