dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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