yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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