Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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