On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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