I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
