Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
