There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
