Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
