After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
