It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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