God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
