this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Drunk is not a location!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
