I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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