I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
