She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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