I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
