Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
