We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
