yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
