Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
