Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
