If that was your dad, he is hot
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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