I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
