I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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