Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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