I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
