But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
