Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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