Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Everything about him screamed your future.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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