check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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