Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
