Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
