I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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