My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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