He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
