Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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