We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
